Judgement Day Goes Nuts Obstacle Team Race 12th Dec 2015
Ah, what a fucking brilliant day! Raced in the team obstacle race challenge ‘Judgement Day Goes Nuts’ today, and our team won! The end!
Haha, actually that version of the write up is for Dave Loveridge‘s benefit, he doesn’t spend long enough on the toilet apparently to read the whole thing!
For some hilarious reason I was made captain of the ‘EMR Race Team’ (EMR stands for Energise Mud Runners, a team based out of Milton Keynes that Dave Loveridge helps run, and Kerry Gowen and Leanne Clifford train with also), with EMR members Simon Temple and Carl Baker making up the six members of this ‘elite’ team. Don’t think I’m being a knob, the EMR lot fielded about 6 teams, mostly for fun running, but they wanted a team that had the sole purpose of fucking smashing it!
The premise was to attack the Nuts Challenge course, about 6km of it, as a team and get two tyres and a 30kg sandbag round it, whilst also still dealing with the obstacles! There was an option to take a 20kg sandbag, but who wants to be a pussy?
I was a bit nervous about taking this on, the Nuts course has claimed my soul before, and that was in the Summer! Wet and cold are not my best friends, and here I am doing this shit in fucking December! But you know what? Fuck that shit, sometimes you just need to take a dose of ‘man the fuck up’ medicine and deal with it! And I’m so fucking glad I did!
To be fair it was quite mild for Winter, I only needed 17 layers instead of the usual 20 while travelling to Surrey, and it was a nice still day, with a suggestion of sun, a hint of drizzle, so it probably couldn’t have been better weather!
The general approach we took to the course was for the girls to take a tyre each and the boys swap in and out of the sandbag, and apart from some slight swapping, that seemed a good strategy. Most of the obstacles from the Nuts course were present, although they had stated that there would be no submerging or swimming (thank fuck!) so we figured the lake and the slide were out, but most of everything else was still in!
Manhandling the objects over the walls, cargo nets, through ditches and tunnels, and just round everything was a not a chore in the slightest! I think the pace we managed to set early on really helped, we got out of the starting zone, tried to muscle our way to the front, got to the first field and had one team left in front of us, and they fell over right in front of us! Beautiful! So within about 2 minutes we were front running, which meant no queueing, everything was sort of clean, just pure obstacle bliss! It was quite mad actually, I kept looking round at different points of the race when we had a large field of vision to see if there was anyone coming behind us, and at no point did we see ANYONE! So while we were keen to motor the course (and I had said from the second I had signed up that the aim was to FUCKING WIN) we also had time to have fun, pose for photos mid obstacle, and just generally laugh about how much fun we having!
Now before anyone gets too much of a hard-on, this wasn’t a timed race. They had put out stuff before hand about the whole mentality of ‘It’s not a race, it’s a challenge’ blah blah blah, motherfucker you running, you racing! So we were in the first wave, and we had the original old school measurement of success in a race; First across the finish line! Think we did it in about 90 minutes, and to be honest it felt like half that. I guess when I’m having so much fun time flies!
The obstacles were a lot of the usual Nuts bunch, tyre chimneys, swing rings, quite a few cargo nets (which I love!), massive amount of ditches with unknown depths of muddy water (which bother me much less than before), quite a few small walls, an inverted wall (which I managed to muscle up, proud moment!), a fireman’s pole (which I also managed to do for the first time without hesitating, another proud moment, not sure why they freak me out so much!), and this new thing… an ‘Irish bar’. There’s an obstacle known as an ‘Irish table’, which is basically a thick high suspended bar that is quite difficult to get over. Well the ‘Irish bar’ is the same thing, but tilted 45 degrees, and it’s much worse! This gets my nod as most difficult obstacle of the day, because I had to put effort in to get over it!
When we were not far from the finish line the race director Dean met us and ran the final half kilometre or so with us to the line, which was nice! Then after that we hung around in the village waiting for others to finish, while the MC (who was fucking awesome!) welcomed people back and the DJ played some old school dirty garage tracks, man my head was bobbing non-stop! What a great fucking day!
So thank you to everyone involved in today, it was fucking wicked from beginning to end!